On the Mack weekend away (more on that later), Philip Fayers mentioned a list of questions to ask telesalespeople on the phone to wind them up, starting with stuff like “What’s your name?” to “What toothpaste do you use?” One of my housemates found a copy of this and has stuck it up by the telephone, and a moment ago I had my first chance to try it out on an unsuspecting caller.

We’ve been having repeated phone calls from this guy Chris who sounds like he’s from India or something wanting to speak to “Mr Nimmo Smith” about a “free” camera phone, despite repeatedly telling him that we’re not interested.

Here’s an extract from the conversation:
“Do you like your job?” I asked.
“Do I like dope?!” Chris repeated, bewildered.
“No, no. Your job, not dope. Do you like your job?”
“I worship my job.”
“Worship it?”
“You have to earn your bread and butter.”
“An interesting thing to worship, all the same!”
“Sir, you realise this conversation is being recorded, and we are not allowed to share personal information. I’m phoning to tell you about our free camera phone offer…”
“Do you get time off to go to the dentist?”
“If you’re not interested perhaps you would like to hang up,” Chris said, frostily.

I’m now actually looking forward to people ringing up trying to sell me useless stuff. If Chris rings again, I’ll try suggesting he worship something other than his job, and see how far I can get into “Two Ways to Live” before he hangs up.