Rich and Sarah have both commented that Artemis Fowl isn’t as bad as all that. I’ll say now that I don’t think that Artemis Fowl is the worst book anywhere in the world across all of history. But it is one of the ones that annoyed me the most on reading it, and it embodies a particular method of storytelling that I really hate. It’s also a good contrast to the Narnia books. Anyway, here’s what I wrote for the article.

Best Book: The Chronicles of Narnia
by C S Lewis

I have to admit that as a child I checked the back of my wardrobe in the hope that I would be able to get through into the magical land of Narnia. Unfortunately, Aslan, the Great Lion, didn’t oblige, so I have had to make do with experiencing Narnia through the seven exciting and beautiful adventures by C S Lewis.

Philip Pullman, author of His Dark Materials, has taken to bashing the Narnia books. Ironically, he objects to C S Lewis’s pushing of Christianity when he himself is far more vocal in his atheistic views in his own books. Don’t be put off by him – Lewis doesn’t jump out and try and convert you, but simply taps in to the themes and ideas of Christianity to powerful effect, also drawing on Greek and Roman mythology to produce a rich and imaginative fantasy sequence. Lewis visibly becomes more accomplished as the series progresses, so don’t be fooled by the initially slightly cutesy style. Even in the first book, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, one of the children betrays his family for the promises of power and wealth from the evil White Witch. Can you imagine Ron or Hermione betraying Harry Potter to Voldemort? Dark stuff indeed.

The climax to the series in The Last Battle is also incredibly powerful, disturbing and moving in equal measure. I won’t give anything away here, but these are gripping, magical books that have shaped my imagination both as a child and as an adult.
Worst Book: Artemis Fowl
by Eoin Colfer

The premise of the book is a promising one: Artemis Fowl, evil criminal mastermind, has discovered that fairies do actually exist and seeks to exploit this for his own ends. Unfortunately, in the author’s efforts to make fairies tough and cool, he loads them up with a load of cop-show clichés and drowns them in a barrage of attempts to give “scientific” versions of fairy wings.

A good book will help you see the world in a different way. A good fantasy book should help you see the fantastic in the world. After Narnia, no wardrobe will ever be the same again. One of the reasons I really hate Artemis Fowl is that instead of making the everyday seem fantastic, it makes the fantastic seem everyday.

The fantastic is being brought down to the dull, everyday level of Monday morning in the office. With so many people in dull paper-pushing jobs, living out insignificant McLives, we’re being encouraged to think of this as normal and good. Rather than
seeking to do anything more meaningful, we’re made to think there’s nothing more to life than this. Our dreams of the fantastic are invaded and to make them, and to make us, conform to the corporate ideal.

The book itself? I don’t have any more to say on it, since the annoying “jokes” (LEPrecon – yeuch), poor writing style and basic Harry-Potter-cash-in rubbishness made me throw it down in disgust before I was halfway through. You have been warned.

I’ve got some other stuff coming up in Gair Rhydd and Quench. The paper is currently working on developing its website, and hopes to start putting its articles online in the near future, so watch out for that. I’ve got some more stuff coming up – my article on the Monarchy should be in the Opinion section next week, I’m going to do an author profile on Philip Pullman for Quench and I’m going to try and do a feature on Doctor Who, though that depends partly on how co-operative the BBC are as regards photos and stuff. So keep your eyes peeled!And finally, govelling apologies for the pun in the title of this post…