I’ve been thinking about this question, which I saw posed on the Ship of Fools forums. The short answer is: “It can be, but needn’t be”.
The difference between Christianity and Buddhism, as I understand it, is that Buddhism teaches detachment, while Christianity teaches the right ordering of our attachments, starting with God. Loving God means appreciating all that he has made and all that he gives us as good gifts from him, delighting in God through what he has made, not instead of Him. Thankfulness is an integral part of worship.
John’s Gospel clearly weaves God’s love for us, our love for God and our love for other people together in a tightly-knitted unity. “If you obey my commands you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love… My command is this: love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:10,12)
Love starts with God, and in response to his love, we should love him back, and as an expression of our love for God, we obey him – that is, we love other people. Rather than our love from other people diminishing our love for God, our love for others should be an expression of our love for him; the more we love God, the more we love others; the more we love others, the more we are loving God.
Romantic love can be a particularly deep and meaningful expression of this love. The Bible speaks of the love between husband and wife being like the love between Christ and the church, and the joy of sexual union is just a foretaste of the far greater joy of the union of God and his people. When romantic love is fulfilled in marriage, it has the potential to deepen one’s love for God.
Romans 1:21-23 describes the dynamics of idolatry. Idolatry occurs when these three things happen:
- when God is not given his supreme place of glory (v21)
- when we don’t receive the created things with thankfulness to God the Creator (v21)
- when we instead value created things above the Creator (v23)
Anything that isn’t God can be an idol, and romantic love is no exception. Anyone in love with another person needs to be careful not to elevate their beloved to the place of supreme delight that only God can fill. But romantic love can and ought to be received with thankfulness as a gift from God and be practised as an expression of love to God.
